Sunday 29 January 2012

Nothing wrong with a bit of Retail Therapy! ;)

Okay, sorry about that rant in the last post...and sorry to those I offended. I didnt mean any harm. I just got so frustrated at everything...Im so tired of being different. Before this all happened- I wouldve jumped at the chance to be unique. But now that Im unique for all the wrong reasons, its horrible. I havent been very moody or angry since this whole illness started and I think Im allowed one unreasonable temper fit, considering the circumstances. And I feel so guilty because everyone around me is suffering and its essentially my fault. My Mum is exhausted, my sister is feeling neglected, my Dad is upset and tired and thats just a dent in the long list of people who are effected by my cancer. And to all those people: Im sorry. Honestly, I didnt mean to do this. And I promise, if any of you ever get ill or are in need of help or support- I'll be there!

Anyway, , I'm going into school tomorrow. Theyre holding a mass and I think its dedicated to me or something. Which is nice...But its at 9 in the morning, and Im not so good with mornings. Not to mention the fact I have to bring one of my meds in if I want to survive the day... Not to mention its always boiling in those rooms and that means I cant wear my jumper. And then another problem arises as the only comfortable bras I own show through the school top, so I have to wear my white bra and that means Im uncomfortable for the whole day. But, on the upside- we went out shopping today [a little retail therapy never hurts], and bought new school trousers so at least I wont be wearing a skirt that doesnt fit me.
Mum also bought me some black card and a set of two pens- gold and silver that show up beautifully on the gold. Ive already used up four sheets of the card in making Valentines cards!
And then, when we went into TK Maxx to look for boots for me, as my old ones pinch and are falling apart- and my new-ish ones can only be worn with tights [and not socks] otherwise I cant get into them. Anyway, as we were looking around TK Maxx- Lucy suddenly went "Hey, Lily! Check this out! It's just your style!" and pulled over this gorgeous little hardcase suitcase. It was bright green with a big friendly looking frog on it! I practically drooled on it! She then disappeared off with it, and came back minutes later telling me the suitcase was mine, and that Mum would buy it for me! We're going to use it for going into hospital, as its only diddy! On the way up to the house, we grabbed a sausage roll for lunch- and Luce got a packet of quavers. We watched the amazing Call the Midwife again tonight- written by the wonderful Heidi Thomas/McGann, and starring the awesome Steve McGann...It really is a very good programme! If any of you havent seen it, go to BBC One at eight o clock on a Sunday...
Anyhoo, seeing as I have to get up early tomorrow- I'd better go to bed. Once again, sorry about the rant [and sorry Daddy xox]...Im much calmer now.
Lots of Love,
Befuddled and wondering what came over her Baldy <3 xox

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