Hey! I haven't written in really quite a while... I guess I didn't really known what to say. Its difficult to find words in this kind of situation. It's difficult to sum up feelings or emotions, to actually say or write what is happening, especially when half the time I have absolutely no idea what's going on myself!
Anyway, so to update everyone- I have unfortunately relapsed. It's the same as before; classical Hodgkins. And still curable (YAY). Just means more normal chemo, and stem cell-y stuff on top of really intensive chemo after the normal chemo. So...not so fun.
I've already finished the first course of chemo, which is cool! So I'm a quarter of the way through the normal chemo already! And I didn't throw up once. Yay! They're giving me these daily injections at the moment, to boost my bone marrow for stem cell harvest this week... But unfortunately that might not happen... My body decided that it was going to be difficult and get a bug and cold sore (like last time, ugh) and now I'm in hospital on antibiotics and antivirals... For reals. It seems sorta ridiculous, just for a cold sore and stuff, but apparently I'm febrile neutropenia category at the moment... Which means really low white blood cell/neutrophil count... I think. Don't quote me on any of this medical information, guys, just in case...
But yeah. I'm still holding up. I dyed some of my hair blue, before I lost it all again. And then I cut it all off. It's so depressing losing it all, you know? When it comes out on the pillow, and it makes it worse, so I decided to just go for it. Regretted it right after, and then couldn't look in a mirror without a hat for a while... But I'm used to it now. It's just hair, and to be honest, the hats are fabby. I'm back to all my old hat collecting habits... I have a snazzy 1920's style one, and lots of ones that look like bears... And a new giant fluffy one with big floppy ears that makes me look like an Ewok when I wear it! It's lush... And ridonkulously warm.
Ooh! I forgot to mention earlier with all the medical stuff, I'm now on the TCT Ward for inpatient stuff... It's amazing! It's so... Teen! It really caters for my age group, it's amazing... And also, there's other teens here to chat to! Which is really nice, as it's nice to talk to other people about the gross stuff. Like hair loss and side effects and the gruesome tumour or blood stuff... because normally people pale a little if I try to go into it too much (hehe)...
Anyhoo! It's stupidly late, and I should be asleep- but I'm feeling a little rotten and had a milkshake (not eating properly so it's a special nutrients milkshake), and a flat sprite (nausea, it actually works-try it some time) not so long ago, so I'm still wide awake, which is annoying. So I'm probably going to listen to some calming music (Pfft lies, all lies...) before drifting off.
Sorry it took me so long to write on here again! I shall try to write more and ore in the months to come!
Lots of love to all you beautiful people!
Very much the Befuddled Baldy again <3
