I was watching that programme; 24 Hours in A and E- and there were some really touching things said by not only the relatives- but by the Nurses and Doctors too. And some of the things they said really reminded me of my own situation.
A sweet one was a little girl was being wheeled in on a stretcher looking confused, scared and in a fair deal of pain. And her Dad held her hand and said: "You're going to be all right. You know what happens when things are bad? Daddys here." Reminded me of my own Father... Love you Dadda, and Im so glad that although Im 15, Im still your little girl <3 ...
And of course my own Mother- who I swear must be an Angel. Or at least some kind of amazing mythical creature, because I do not know of a braver, more inspiring woman. And quite honestly I have no idea how she has done everything that she has. She truly is a super woman. And I love her dearly, and think she deserves the most wonderful year to come- full of treats and relaxation!
And then a nurse said about two minutes later on the programme; "...and you're really sick, and all you can think about is 'Am I going to live, am I going to die?'. Silly things go out the window, and ultimately whats important is realised: That you're loved. And that you are not alone."
That got me thinking. I don't think I ever truly said Thank You to all of you. Because throughout all of this, all of you- no matter what part of the world you were in- sent your love and good wishes and support, and to be quite honest without all of that; I couldn't have done it. A big Thank you to my Fabulous Grandma and Grandad who have been there throughout almost all of this and who we couldnt have done without- thank you so much for putting your lives on hold to help with everything. We are so so grateful to you and love you very, very much!! From the Neaves in New Zealand, to my Dad and his wonderful colleages in Qatar [Ghada, Haya, Sean, Manal and Ebtesam and Lucy especially], to all the Pupils and teachers of St Benedicts in Suffolk, to the Hingstons and McGanns in Essex to the Robertsons in St Albans, to the MacManamons [A huge thank you to everyone in Ireland who have all sent so much love and support. We really are grateful and couldnt have done it without you] to the Ericksons, Adlemans and Swyers in America- and EVERYONE else [there are WAY, WAY too many to name]:
THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH FOR GETTING ME THROUGH THIS. Because I honestly would NOT have been able to do this without you. I owe you my life, in a way. Or at the very least my sanity and peace of mind.
I just wanted to say that, now that is all over. Because it is. I had my hickman line removal operation today and I now am as normal as Im ever going to be. I am SO relieved...a little bit nervous as I AM quite scared it might come back...but I can't live my life in fear of this disease so I am trying to work through it and think positively!
One other Thank You I must issue is to the huge Medical Team who SAVED MY LIFE.
It started off with Dr Gupta and Dr Silverston- two of THE most amazing GP's EVER...without whom I would never have been diagnosed, and also everyone at Oakfield Surgery in general for all your help and cooperation. Then theres Dr Birgit [Im sorry if I spelt it wrong], a paediatrician at Addenbrookes who sent me for the scans that diagnosed me. Then there is the radiotherapy team at Addenbrookes [I had mainly Laressa, Orla, Fiona, Michelle and Sophie] and they were AMAZING...along with the master blaster Nina, the chief Radiotherapy consultant Dr Mike Williams and his wonderful registrar Dr Izzy Maund [sorry about spelling...!] who REALLY helped with my sickness and I couldnt have done it without them.
And then the WONDERFUL nurses at PDU [Claire S, Joan, Suzanne, Zoe, Claire, Maria, Jenny and all the other wonderful nurses- Im sorry I couldnt name you all!]. Not to forget the WONDERFUL Play Leaders...Judith, Carol, Angela and Karen- all lovely ladies!! [And of course Beryl and Halina who were always there and friendly...] A shout out aswell to all the wonderful and amazing nurses on C2 Ward, who are truly amazing and who really looked after me whenever I was there. And Mick the chef on C2 Ward... And I would also like to shout out to the lovely staff on the Day Surgery Ward who I only met once today, but who made the operation to get the hickman line out an overall pleasant experience, which is weird because it's an op! Thank you also- [wow, so many Thank you's!]- to Maggie the education lady who gave me endless wordsearches and crosswords when I asked and kept my brain from turning completely to mush while I was in hospital!! And also thank you to Angela the psychologist, who I was adittedly sceptical about but who turned out to be a great help and managed to cool some of my anger and anxiety and calm me down a great deal after chemo and during radio- when I most needed it. So thank you...
And then of course all fantastic nurses at West Suffolk Hospital- Pregnant Liz [sorry..], Other Liz, Rachel, Lorraine, Hazel, Julia, Rebecca, Jo, Jess, Stacey...and Im sure many, many others but Im not THAT good with names....And of course my AMAZING community nurses Steph Rolf [is that how you spell it? Sorry...!] and the fabulous Jo Rackham who will be sorely missed as a community nurse...Even though Ive finished treatment... And not to forget Melanie Clements, who got to deal with me unfortunately when I wasnt in the most pleasant of moods [sorry about that..]. Thank you to my wonderful surgical team- mainly Dr Claire Jackson, for managing to reach my tumour without moving and messing around with my ribs- and giving me such clean scars. And thank you to my anaesthetists, who sent me to sleep so nicely- and woke me up in an equally pleasant manner... And thank you to Jodie, who always managed to find ways to achieve my stupid requests about surgery or wheelchairs- Thank you...
Now come the Oncologists. A HUGE thank you to; Dr Richard and Dr Karina the registrars, Dr Boo Messabel [who tried desperately to find an effective anti-emetic but to no avail, and to whom I am grateful to for even searching after so many failed attempts. Thank you..], Dr Ramya Ramanujachar [who left Addenbrookes but was there for over a quarter of my treatment and really helped me], Dr Mike Gattens [helped me briefly when I was in a state after radiotherapy, and was absolutely lovely], and of course my wonderful and probably really exasperated main oncologist who is most likely relieved I am through with treatment so I can't pop up with some other ridiculous side effect to moan at him for [wink wink]- Dr James Nicholson. Thank you, James- especially for not slapping of pinching me when I came whining and whinging with yet ANOTHER stupid side effect or anxious round of questions... Second to last, I would like to thank the FANTASTIC Dr Katherine Piccinelli, who always managed to come up with efficient, effective plans that really suited me...and didnt mind that I detested sedatives- or REALLY didnt show it if she did. And who also managed to find a couple of drugs, always went through side effects with me and is not only one of the nicest doctors I know- but is also one of the nicest people. And I know she was very comforting to my Mum too, which is nice... And I haven't forgotten the lovely Dr Amos Burke, who I didnt particuarly like initially as he got the unfortunate job of breaking the news...but am a HUGE fan of now- and who I have to say is one of the wisest Doctors I know, has been right about EVERYTHING [minus the MST...] and to whom I owe my life. I will never forget what all of you above people have done for me- and I just wanted you to know just how much I respect what you do, and how you do it. Truly, these past nine months have really and truly restored all my faith in Humanity and I owe you all not only my sanity, my life now- but for years to come, all the things that I will do and be able to do...I will be able to do them because of what you did for me these last nine months. I could go on and on, but I think you get what Im trying to say...
I love you all...and am truly humbled for what all of you have done for me...Friends, Family, Doctors, Nurses, Surgeons, Teachers...and even Strangers.... There may not be hocus pocus magic in this world....but there is certainly magic in the way a human being loves another human being....
[That sounded cringingly cheesy... ;) ..]
Much love to you all....
Befuddled, humbled and never been happier to be alive, Baldy <3 xoxo
A sweet one was a little girl was being wheeled in on a stretcher looking confused, scared and in a fair deal of pain. And her Dad held her hand and said: "You're going to be all right. You know what happens when things are bad? Daddys here." Reminded me of my own Father... Love you Dadda, and Im so glad that although Im 15, Im still your little girl <3 ...
And of course my own Mother- who I swear must be an Angel. Or at least some kind of amazing mythical creature, because I do not know of a braver, more inspiring woman. And quite honestly I have no idea how she has done everything that she has. She truly is a super woman. And I love her dearly, and think she deserves the most wonderful year to come- full of treats and relaxation!
And then a nurse said about two minutes later on the programme; "...and you're really sick, and all you can think about is 'Am I going to live, am I going to die?'. Silly things go out the window, and ultimately whats important is realised: That you're loved. And that you are not alone."
That got me thinking. I don't think I ever truly said Thank You to all of you. Because throughout all of this, all of you- no matter what part of the world you were in- sent your love and good wishes and support, and to be quite honest without all of that; I couldn't have done it. A big Thank you to my Fabulous Grandma and Grandad who have been there throughout almost all of this and who we couldnt have done without- thank you so much for putting your lives on hold to help with everything. We are so so grateful to you and love you very, very much!! From the Neaves in New Zealand, to my Dad and his wonderful colleages in Qatar [Ghada, Haya, Sean, Manal and Ebtesam and Lucy especially], to all the Pupils and teachers of St Benedicts in Suffolk, to the Hingstons and McGanns in Essex to the Robertsons in St Albans, to the MacManamons [A huge thank you to everyone in Ireland who have all sent so much love and support. We really are grateful and couldnt have done it without you] to the Ericksons, Adlemans and Swyers in America- and EVERYONE else [there are WAY, WAY too many to name]:
THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH FOR GETTING ME THROUGH THIS. Because I honestly would NOT have been able to do this without you. I owe you my life, in a way. Or at the very least my sanity and peace of mind.
I just wanted to say that, now that is all over. Because it is. I had my hickman line removal operation today and I now am as normal as Im ever going to be. I am SO relieved...a little bit nervous as I AM quite scared it might come back...but I can't live my life in fear of this disease so I am trying to work through it and think positively!
One other Thank You I must issue is to the huge Medical Team who SAVED MY LIFE.
It started off with Dr Gupta and Dr Silverston- two of THE most amazing GP's EVER...without whom I would never have been diagnosed, and also everyone at Oakfield Surgery in general for all your help and cooperation. Then theres Dr Birgit [Im sorry if I spelt it wrong], a paediatrician at Addenbrookes who sent me for the scans that diagnosed me. Then there is the radiotherapy team at Addenbrookes [I had mainly Laressa, Orla, Fiona, Michelle and Sophie] and they were AMAZING...along with the master blaster Nina, the chief Radiotherapy consultant Dr Mike Williams and his wonderful registrar Dr Izzy Maund [sorry about spelling...!] who REALLY helped with my sickness and I couldnt have done it without them.
And then the WONDERFUL nurses at PDU [Claire S, Joan, Suzanne, Zoe, Claire, Maria, Jenny and all the other wonderful nurses- Im sorry I couldnt name you all!]. Not to forget the WONDERFUL Play Leaders...Judith, Carol, Angela and Karen- all lovely ladies!! [And of course Beryl and Halina who were always there and friendly...] A shout out aswell to all the wonderful and amazing nurses on C2 Ward, who are truly amazing and who really looked after me whenever I was there. And Mick the chef on C2 Ward... And I would also like to shout out to the lovely staff on the Day Surgery Ward who I only met once today, but who made the operation to get the hickman line out an overall pleasant experience, which is weird because it's an op! Thank you also- [wow, so many Thank you's!]- to Maggie the education lady who gave me endless wordsearches and crosswords when I asked and kept my brain from turning completely to mush while I was in hospital!! And also thank you to Angela the psychologist, who I was adittedly sceptical about but who turned out to be a great help and managed to cool some of my anger and anxiety and calm me down a great deal after chemo and during radio- when I most needed it. So thank you...
And then of course all fantastic nurses at West Suffolk Hospital- Pregnant Liz [sorry..], Other Liz, Rachel, Lorraine, Hazel, Julia, Rebecca, Jo, Jess, Stacey...and Im sure many, many others but Im not THAT good with names....And of course my AMAZING community nurses Steph Rolf [is that how you spell it? Sorry...!] and the fabulous Jo Rackham who will be sorely missed as a community nurse...Even though Ive finished treatment... And not to forget Melanie Clements, who got to deal with me unfortunately when I wasnt in the most pleasant of moods [sorry about that..]. Thank you to my wonderful surgical team- mainly Dr Claire Jackson, for managing to reach my tumour without moving and messing around with my ribs- and giving me such clean scars. And thank you to my anaesthetists, who sent me to sleep so nicely- and woke me up in an equally pleasant manner... And thank you to Jodie, who always managed to find ways to achieve my stupid requests about surgery or wheelchairs- Thank you...
Now come the Oncologists. A HUGE thank you to; Dr Richard and Dr Karina the registrars, Dr Boo Messabel [who tried desperately to find an effective anti-emetic but to no avail, and to whom I am grateful to for even searching after so many failed attempts. Thank you..], Dr Ramya Ramanujachar [who left Addenbrookes but was there for over a quarter of my treatment and really helped me], Dr Mike Gattens [helped me briefly when I was in a state after radiotherapy, and was absolutely lovely], and of course my wonderful and probably really exasperated main oncologist who is most likely relieved I am through with treatment so I can't pop up with some other ridiculous side effect to moan at him for [wink wink]- Dr James Nicholson. Thank you, James- especially for not slapping of pinching me when I came whining and whinging with yet ANOTHER stupid side effect or anxious round of questions... Second to last, I would like to thank the FANTASTIC Dr Katherine Piccinelli, who always managed to come up with efficient, effective plans that really suited me...and didnt mind that I detested sedatives- or REALLY didnt show it if she did. And who also managed to find a couple of drugs, always went through side effects with me and is not only one of the nicest doctors I know- but is also one of the nicest people. And I know she was very comforting to my Mum too, which is nice... And I haven't forgotten the lovely Dr Amos Burke, who I didnt particuarly like initially as he got the unfortunate job of breaking the news...but am a HUGE fan of now- and who I have to say is one of the wisest Doctors I know, has been right about EVERYTHING [minus the MST...] and to whom I owe my life. I will never forget what all of you above people have done for me- and I just wanted you to know just how much I respect what you do, and how you do it. Truly, these past nine months have really and truly restored all my faith in Humanity and I owe you all not only my sanity, my life now- but for years to come, all the things that I will do and be able to do...I will be able to do them because of what you did for me these last nine months. I could go on and on, but I think you get what Im trying to say...
I love you all...and am truly humbled for what all of you have done for me...Friends, Family, Doctors, Nurses, Surgeons, Teachers...and even Strangers.... There may not be hocus pocus magic in this world....but there is certainly magic in the way a human being loves another human being....
[That sounded cringingly cheesy... ;) ..]
Much love to you all....
Befuddled, humbled and never been happier to be alive, Baldy <3 xoxo
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