"I try to laugh about it...hiding the tears in my eyes.."

"Teenage Dreams, so hard to follow,

the broken hearts, the shattered chances,

the lumps of tears so hard to follow."

"The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed." Buddha.

I disagree [no offence, Buddha]. In life, you need fear to remind you that you are human. It is only when it consumes you, when you cannot sleep- when you find yourself internally screaming in pain and fear- only then does it make you weak. Being weak is nothing to be ashamed of...it shows us that we have flaws- we're not robots.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' " Eleanor Roosevelt

I guess that applies to me. Its just the looking the fear in the face AFTER the experience that I'm struggling with. What if it comes back? What if Im not accepted properly? Are people looking at me? Are people judging me? So many thoughts, all going through my mind at once- creeping into every crevice. I guess I'll just have to get over it, train myself to stop. But its harder than it sounds, not easy when its what you're thinking 24/7.
More later, Much Love,

Befuddled and scared, to be honest Baldy <3 xoxo