I'd like to say, 'A New Year- a new Me'- but I know that I just don't mean it. I never do, resolutions get more and more self improving and I never actually keep to them. I wish I did but I think keeping to 'Eat less chocolate' is being a little harsh on myself.
We're all a little harsh when it comes to resolutions though, I suppose- always looking at our faults, for things to improve in our personalities or bodies, when really we should be celebrating that we made it another year.
Life is difficult, and surviving it is a bloody great achievement, I think. So for everyone who is suffering an illness- congratulations on making it to 2014. And I don't just mean the cancer's and the auto immune's and the blood disorder's and whatnot, but the mental illnesses too. The depressions and the social anxiety's and the schizophrenia's, and all of you wonderful people. And to all you others too, the carers, the ones dealing with loss, or stress or actually the ones who are happy, the ones that remind us that it is strangely possible in this life. You've made it through another year too- and celebrate that tonight because though it happens every 365 days- it is an amazing achievement EVERY time it comes around.
Happy 2014.
On a more personal note, to everyone who made it possible for me to be celebrating this.
To everyone who stuck by me this year (again), thank you, for everything. I wouldn't have made it without you. To the ones that left- you missed one hell of a ride.
To the friends that put up with the late night freak outs or the sad phone calls and the mood changes and the moments where I wasn't the good friend I should have been, it means so much to me that you stayed. You gave me courage.
To the family (and those close friends that aren't legally family but you are to me) who rang and messaged and kept me in your hearts and prayers- thank you. Every time you rang, or sent cards, you gave me hope.
To the baby sister, the one who never complained when I had to be put first, who had to watch me scream in agony or throw up and pretend to not be scared, and help. To the girl who had to grow up so fast, and who always showed nothing but love to me, even though sometimes I was perfectly horrid to you. You were so so brilliant, you beautiful girl, and you gave me strength.
To the parents- the Mum and Dad who had to watch their little girl go through all of the horrors that I had to go through, who had to worry that maybe they didn't get to keep me forever and who had to deal with all the tearful nights, the 'I can't do it any more' days and the months of me not being the daughter they knew any more. While everyone else gave me strength, hope and courage- You kept me alive.
And finally- to me. Because I survived. I SURVIVED. I am proud of that, no matter how small or big a victory it is to anyone else. Someone said to a friend of mine recently- 'Lily isn't the ONLY one in the world with cancer'. I know that's true, and I have some beautiful fighting friends that I have met and kept along the way- but just because I am the only one does not make my experience less painful, less awful or less amazing that I won it in the end. I am not the only one, and I only wish more were in the position I am in now, but I can say now that I am going into 2014 with fabulous friends, a brilliant boyfriend, fantastic family- and a tumour free chest. To all of you who made this even possible- 2014 is for you.
I leave you now, with the final words of the ninth Doctor:
"You were fantastic. And you know what?
So was I."
Wishing you all a very happy and healthy New Year.
Always, and indebted.
B. Baldy x
We're all a little harsh when it comes to resolutions though, I suppose- always looking at our faults, for things to improve in our personalities or bodies, when really we should be celebrating that we made it another year.
Life is difficult, and surviving it is a bloody great achievement, I think. So for everyone who is suffering an illness- congratulations on making it to 2014. And I don't just mean the cancer's and the auto immune's and the blood disorder's and whatnot, but the mental illnesses too. The depressions and the social anxiety's and the schizophrenia's, and all of you wonderful people. And to all you others too, the carers, the ones dealing with loss, or stress or actually the ones who are happy, the ones that remind us that it is strangely possible in this life. You've made it through another year too- and celebrate that tonight because though it happens every 365 days- it is an amazing achievement EVERY time it comes around.
Happy 2014.
On a more personal note, to everyone who made it possible for me to be celebrating this.
To everyone who stuck by me this year (again), thank you, for everything. I wouldn't have made it without you. To the ones that left- you missed one hell of a ride.
To the friends that put up with the late night freak outs or the sad phone calls and the mood changes and the moments where I wasn't the good friend I should have been, it means so much to me that you stayed. You gave me courage.
To the family (and those close friends that aren't legally family but you are to me) who rang and messaged and kept me in your hearts and prayers- thank you. Every time you rang, or sent cards, you gave me hope.
To the baby sister, the one who never complained when I had to be put first, who had to watch me scream in agony or throw up and pretend to not be scared, and help. To the girl who had to grow up so fast, and who always showed nothing but love to me, even though sometimes I was perfectly horrid to you. You were so so brilliant, you beautiful girl, and you gave me strength.
To the parents- the Mum and Dad who had to watch their little girl go through all of the horrors that I had to go through, who had to worry that maybe they didn't get to keep me forever and who had to deal with all the tearful nights, the 'I can't do it any more' days and the months of me not being the daughter they knew any more. While everyone else gave me strength, hope and courage- You kept me alive.
And finally- to me. Because I survived. I SURVIVED. I am proud of that, no matter how small or big a victory it is to anyone else. Someone said to a friend of mine recently- 'Lily isn't the ONLY one in the world with cancer'. I know that's true, and I have some beautiful fighting friends that I have met and kept along the way- but just because I am the only one does not make my experience less painful, less awful or less amazing that I won it in the end. I am not the only one, and I only wish more were in the position I am in now, but I can say now that I am going into 2014 with fabulous friends, a brilliant boyfriend, fantastic family- and a tumour free chest. To all of you who made this even possible- 2014 is for you.
I leave you now, with the final words of the ninth Doctor:
"You were fantastic. And you know what?
So was I."
Wishing you all a very happy and healthy New Year.
Always, and indebted.
B. Baldy x
lovely words Lily, You are a very strong girl.
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