"An increase in light gives an increase in darkness."

"An increase in light gives an increase in darkness." Sam Francis

"And introduce an element of cynicism and darkness into it and just realize that we're all vulnerable. We are humans. There is a finite end to this life and we're all going to face it and a little silliness can help." Alan Thicke


I guess as things get a bit better, my anxieties rise...I think it's because the better I get, the more relaxed I get; The higher I have to fall. 
Okay, people say that facing up and admitting your fears so I guess this could be a post about my ridiculous phobias! 

1. Arachnophobia- I HATE spiders, they have too many legs and creepy eyes and fangs...

2. Eremikophobia- I hate sand possibly more than I hate spiders...I hate the way it sticks to you. Its weird and creepy and feels HORRIBLE.

3. Ladelphobia- you already know this one, its Ladybugs. They're just unnatural, okay?

4. Achluophobia- Fear of darkness...I don't like it, it's smothering.
5. Agateophobia- Fear of insanity...just because my mind tends to be a bit overactive.
6. Agliophobia- Fear of pain, nearly everyone has this one, exluding masochists and weirdos.
7. Atychiphobia- Fear of failure...again, most people have some form of this...
8. Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored...I want to be remembered, I guess...especially if I die 'before my time'...
9. Autophobia- Fear of being alone... especially at night, for me. I don't like being alone much, I like to feel needed. 
9.  Bacillophobia- Fear of microbes...
10. Bacteriophobia- Fear of bacteria...this is like number nine- I HATE germs...I reaaally don't like being immuno-supressed. 
11. Cancerophobia or Carcinophobia- Fear of cancer...this one's kind of a given...
12. Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors, mostly either when Im alone or in the dark. I don't mind them half the time...
13. Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces...like MRI's... *shudder*
14. Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed...not SO much anymore...but still. If it wasn't essential, I wouldn't sleep.
15. Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns...come on, they're just plain creepy...past midnight they're just. not. funny! [matt ;) ..]
16. Demonophobia or Daemonophobia- Fear of demons...who isn't scared of demons? Especially our own demons...
17. Emetophobia- Fear of vomiting...inevitable, considering how much throwing up I've done over the past 9-10 months...
18. Hadephobia- Fear of hell...everytime I think of myself dying, I always think about redemption and my mistakes and whether I'll go to Hell. Because although I like reading books about it, I'm really not sure I'd like it as a life choice...Or death choice, if you like..
19. Molysmophobia or Molysomophobia- Fear of dirt or contamination...I hate germs. Eugh.
20. Necrophobia- Fear of death or dead things....specifically death, or my own death- or zombies. 
21. Nosophobia or Nosemaphobia- Fear of becoming ill...I never want to be ill again...
22. Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams...Dreams are dangerous. 
23. Radiophobia- Fear of radiation, x-rays...not x-rays, but radiation causes cancer.
24. Russophobia- Fear of Russians...not being racist. Just a bad experience.
25. Satanophobia- Fear of Satan...only twisted people WOULDN'T fear him..
26. Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows...I don't like them. Especially when you can't tell where it's come from.
27. Somniphobia- Fear of sleep...it's not a good thing, I know. But sleep hasn't exactly given me a real reason to love it. Exept from the fact I need it...
28. Spermatophobia or Spermophobia- Fear of germs...I carry antibacterial gel EVERYWHERE.
29. Thanatophobia or Thantophobia- Fear of death or dying...like number 20, but actually dyING this time rather than just death.
[From here on I don't know the names of them...sorry!]
30. I am scared of disappointing people too much
31. I am scared of changing who I am into someone people don't like, or don't like as much. Or I'm worried that I've already changed...
32. I am scared of even numbers...don't even ask, I just can't stand them.
33. I'm scared of not knowing whats going to happen. I like to be in control.
Thats all I can think of right now... haha, ALL. 

I am soo superstitious, also...I HAVE to nod, and make the people with me nod, seven times whenever I see a lone magpie. I HAVE to wear black socks on Friday 13th. I HAVE to have as many odd numbers in my life rather than even. Even numbers freak me out.

I have probably shared waaay too much information, but hey- maybe this'll come in handy to my enemies *wink wink*!

Anyway, sorry it took so long to write, I feel a bit empty at the moment. Especially of inspiration.
Lots of Love,
Befuddled and really not so bald anymore Baldy <3 xoxo


PS- This piece is dedicated to two people...
1. Matt Hunter ;), an awesome friend who deserves a lot more than a Phobias post dedicated to him :')
2. Peebs Allsopp, who is also legendary and who I have always relyed on to just be crazy with me ;)
-Both of these I can forget the world with and just let go, but they also listen to me when I break down or when I complain or just when I need them...So for that I am eternally grateful...Thank you- and I would do the same for either of you, I promise :) <3 Love you guys!